


Depression Buddies

by SleepyNyash



Category: Bloody Mary - Samamiya Akaza, Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post-Canon, References to Depression, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 10:56:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18150950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyNyash/pseuds/SleepyNyash
Summary: sleepy ash suffers from depression and self hatred. mary wants to die. when they meet, they develop an unusual friendship that lasts longer than either thought would happen.





	Depression Buddies

**Author's Note:**

> warning: there will be a few references to depression/suicide/self-harm, not graphic depictions though.

When Sleepy Ash recognized the redhead vampire standing nearby, he became curiously alarmed.

There had been rumors of a redhaired vampire going around killing other vampires. Supposedly he was faster and stronger than most, and there was no logic behind his killings.

So when he realized who it was, he wondered if he was about to die.

He wasn't sure he’d fight it, death that is. He kind of deserved it, especially after…

He didn't see a reason to fight to live. His siblings might rejoice if they heard he’d kicked the bucket, especially if it was violent.

“Um…” Sleepy Ash started, eyeing the vampire. The vampire stumbled and leaned against a nearby lamppost. That's when Sleepy Ash heard the whimpering. He stepped closer. “Uh, you ok?”

He lifted his head, sniffling noisily, “Who are you?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Me? I’m a Servamp.”

“Do you know where di Maria is?”

“Who?”

The vampire stumbled again before falling face first onto the cement.

_That had to hurt._

The Servamp inched closer, “You ok?”

“I want to die.”

_Oh…_

“The sun’s gonna come up. Do you have a place to hide?”

“It doesn't matter.”

“I’ll take that as a no.” the Servamp of Sloth frowned. “Really, you're troublesome.”

“Then kill me.” the redhead vampire whispered.

Sleepy Ash flinched hard at that. He shook his head, “Not that I don't share the sentiment, but you're gonna ruin someone's day by dying in the streets.”

“I don't care.”

Sleepy Ash sighed and sat beside the suicidal vampire with an apathetic glance in his direction, “Mind if I try to die with you too?”

The vampire lifted his head tiredly, “What?”

“I don’t… want to live with these memories either. It’ll make everyone happier if I do. Everyone’s better off without me.” Sleepy Ash muttered. “We could both try to die. It’d be more than I deserve, but maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to die with someone nearby.”

The vampire sat up slowly, “Really?”

“Worth a shot.”

“What do you wanna do? I’ve tried jumping, eating garlic, burning, shooting myself-”

“Fuck, you’re desperate huh?” Sleepy Ash leaned away.

“I don’t want to live anymore!” the vampire shouted.

“Not so loud, or we’ll have human police coming by.” Sleepy Ash warned.

The vampire groaned, “What do you plan on doing?”

“I… don’t know. Starvation hasn’t worked. It’s just left me something like a cat in vampire form.”

“I haven’t drunk blood, and I’m still alive. I’ve tried sitting out in the sun…” the redhead trailed off as he spotted a bit of sun rising. He hadn’t realized how late it was. “Well, maybe with someone else here, it’ll work.”

Sleepy Ash stretched, “I hope so. I want them to be happy. But they’d be happier without me. So I’ll give them that.”

“What’s your name?”

He pulled his hood off, shaking his light blue hair, “Sleepy Ash. You?”

“...” the redhead pulled his hood off as well, “Mary. You can call me Mary.”

They both stared quietly, watching the sun rise slowly. Mary glanced at the Servamp, blinking back tears. He’d never cared about anyone or anything, but a perfect stranger felt the same way as him, wanting to die for family as an apology. Somehow, it filled him with an overwhelming emotion. He wanted to beg the stranger to…

_It wouldn’t make a difference. No one can convince me dying isn’t the answer. It wouldn’t change his mind._

“Do you think we’ll die?” Mary asked quietly.

“I wish I would.” Sleepy Ash drew his legs to his chest. “Unfortunately, it just leaves me weak. I’ve never died before. And I’ve tried too.” He pressed his head to his knees, drowning in his depression. “Only subclass seem to burn away in the light. Servamps just get weak and tired.”

“And you’ve tried jumping?”

“Yes.”

“Hanging?”

“No.”

“Shooting yourself?”

“No.”

“Burning?”

“I’ve had others try to test my limits. Burning me just hurts. Doesn’t kill me.”

Mary sighed, “Seems neither of us can die.”

Sleepy Ash sighed longingly, “I just… want them safe and happy. I’m the oldest, but I’m a failure.”

Mary glanced at him, “I hope you can find a way to die someday.”

“I doubt it’ll happen.” he shrugged.

“I’m gonna find di Maria, and he’ll kill me, and then it’ll be better.” Mary spoke.

“Best of luck with that.” Sleepy Ash leaned back as the sun was rising higher and higher. The shadows that protected the pair had started to shrink. Sunlight was inches from their feet. Sleepy Ash sighed, “It doesn’t matter, in the end.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Mary agreed quietly.

Sunlight had moved up to the Servamp’s pants. He poofed into a black cat and groaned. Mary smiled a little.

“I like cats. Can I hold you?”

“No. I don’t like being touched.” the black cat grumbled in response.

“Aw…” Mary pouted.

“I guess I’m not dead.” Sleepy Ash grumbled, ears flat.

“Me neither… but ugh, I don’t feel good…” Mary swayed.

“Yuck.” the black cat stuck his tongue out.

Mary fell forward, smacking face first onto the cement again. He stayed quiet. Sleepy Ash crawled toward him and curled up nearby. Far enough away that it might not mean much, but close enough he could feel the warmth of another somewhat living creature. He didn’t deserve a moment of peace after what he’d done, but he closed his eyes, imaging that everything was ok for just one moment. Then he let himself fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> second attempt at this crossover, but this time with only two universes, not three. i think that was the failure last time. updates won't be frequent, but i'll attempt to do at least one update a month or as possible.


End file.
